A funny thing happened on the way to the soapbox

<[null]> Ted Turner is going to kick Steve Case's ass
<[null]> too bad they don't have a way to make that a PPV event

Now some of us are weak, and some endure

And some people live their lives with a violence that's pure and clean

But I saw a man cry once, down on his knees

In the corner of a darkened cell, and his pain meant nothing to me

But I was younger then, and young men never die

When i walked out in the sun, I was strong, clear minded,

 and blind

N e w s  o f  t h e  D a y
9 April 2001


A funny thing happened on the way to the soapbox
It's clear that I don't enjoy doing this anymore, and I missed both my recent opportunities to Retire™ - the most recent being my 4th Subspace birthday, which I completely forgot about - so it appears as though we're stuck with each other until this coming December 1st. Mark it on your calendars.

So here I was, all ready to tear down 90% of the history of multiplayer gaming, when - you know at the end of The Grinch Who Stole Back Christmas, when the Little Whos Down In Whoville are having their evil pagan ritual commemorating their faceless Who-god, and our friend the Grinch has endeavored to teach them what exactly the fuck Christmas is for, when a portal to Hell opens up and the Ghost of Holiday Giftgiving jumps out, possessing our hero long enough to break his spirit and turn him into One Of Them?

It was like that, only BETTER. Inspired as I was by the unprecedented horribleness that is Tribes 2, I was making a list of bad games, and good games gone bad, and checking it twice, when something divine touched me, and before you could say "hey e let's bring back Turf / Jackpot Zone again" I was enjoying match upon match of the marvelous Quake III Team Arena, strutting my bad stuff at the top of the frag list not because I have any skill, but solely because - just like those Good Old Days - I was a Team Player. An army of one, if you will!

It took this long for that high to wear off, and now I'm afraid I've forgotten what in the hell I needed so desperately to say. But I will say this. After some tweaking and fiddling I finally got Tribes 2 to run well, and it's still pretty damned dismal. Not horrible, in all honesty, as much as I might wish to call it horrible. Just dismal. Claustrophobic and chaotic and visually the polar opposite of eye popping. It is missing all the vast, epic grandness of the original game as well as the cloak & dagger layout of its interiors. Things I experienced the day Tribes 1 hit store shelves - receiving objectives and waypoints from other players, painting targets for mortar fire, actual fear of flying vehicles - still haven't encountered them yet. It's not there. The teams don't communicate, people don't respect the vehicles, and the command interface is even less useful than the original. Far less useful, in fact. I couldn't believe this when I read it in the context of a positive review, but it's the case. Tribes 2 has just about the most miserable team interface a person could hope to come up with. There are many other aspects to this dead horse but I don't think I am going to kick it. Suffice it to say this long awaited sequel to the one game that really challenged Subspace in the greatness category during Subspace's heyday - nut uh. It aint there.

Other games have come close over time, most impressively Allegiance. That game in many ways topped the original Tribes, and offered unique experiences that rivaled what Subspace had accomplished. I'll revisit that game here sometime soon. For now all I can say is it continues to amaze me that developers dozens of team members strong, fueled by millions upon millions of dollars, still can't beat our game's basic oldschool charm - and not even because it is oldschool. Subspace's real strength has never been in how much less flashy it is, but in how honestly more advanced it is, than these new games.

I am actually very angry that I forgot my dumb 4th birthday, because I had intended to put up my first new map in maybe half a year, for whatever that gesture was worth, and I guess I've blown that. It'll go up soon just the same, within the next week or so, as I more or less retire the present SCF map originally made for The Dark Zone. Anyway stay tuned if that sort of thing interests you.